Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
