Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
