He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
