have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
