You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
