oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
