i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
