He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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