Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
