I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
