She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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