He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
