If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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