I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
