before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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