but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize