He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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