I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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