I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
