woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Small penises have feelings too.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
