is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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