We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
