Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
