If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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