I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
