My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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