Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
