It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
