i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
high people should be assigned attendants
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
