I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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