i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
