You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
