i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
