Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
