Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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