I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Four minutes until I can fart!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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