A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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