I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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