come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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