goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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