My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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