The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Shame - the story of my life.
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