im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
