Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
