you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
