I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
