I just cut my nipple shaving
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
