I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
