I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
