Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
